It used to be a shameful secret, but now it’s weird to be single and not online dating. Yes, our perceptions have changed and online dating is one of the best ways to meet someone special. There are sites for all kinds of people, including gay & lesbian dating, senior dating sites, and even niche dating sites. If you like a man in uniform, or you want to find a fellow farmer, there’s a dating service out there for you.
Match.com is the original online dating service, but today many people turn towards apps. Not only do they make life easier, but they also mean you can date wherever you are. Tinder defined app-based dating, but it can frustrate singles looking for love. Should we decide on a potential mate based on a photo? We’ll cover this topic later on in our dating series, but for now, let’s look at the 5 things you can do to fail at online dating.
1. Rush Your Profile
We completely get it. You’ve signed up to a dating app, filled in your basic information and now you want to chat to the thousands of attractive singles waiting for your message. The online dating world is full of con-artists, bored married people and individuals that upload fake photos. People are wary of online dating, and rightfully so. The Dating Advice website published statistics recently that show the shady characters lurking on dating websites.
Think about it from someone else’s perspective. Are they more likely to respond to someone with an assortment of photos on their profile or just one headshot? If someone is out to deceive others, they won’t have access to plenty of photographs and don’t fill in their profile. You want to portray yourself in the best light and be who you are.
Ladies, there’s no point in shaving fifteen years off your age in the hopes the dream man you’ve met won’t care once they’ve fallen in love with you. Guys, us women know when you’re lying. That impressive story about the time you trekked through the Amazon or hung out with Tom Hardy should stay where it belongs; in your dreams. Just be honest! Don’t make out you have lots of money or you don’t have three teenagers at home because people will find out.
If you’re serious about meeting someone, then let them see who you are and what you’re about. An online dating profile is like applying makeup. We use it to highlight our best features, but nobody wants to go to bed with Angelina Jolie and wake up with Rosie O’Donnell. Be yourself and you’ll meet people who are attracted to you. No games mean real dating experiences and that’s why you clicked on this post.
Try to cut the cliches from your dating profile and don’t come on too strong. Nobody wants to read that you’ll take them on moonlit walks and quote them Wordsworth poems. There are plenty of low-cost services around where you can get your dating profile written by a professional.
2. Send Philosophical Messages
We all know that they “Hey, how are you?” doesn’t go down too well, but some people decide to over-compensate with their messages. Men are the worst for this and send a realm of weird messages that appear desperate. Online dating is about connecting with someone and deciding if they could be a good match for you. Nobody wants to receive a message asking them to decipher the secrets of the universe. You want to come across as mysterious, but believe me, it doesn’t work.
Cheesy chat-up lines don’t work and result in your message being deleted. It’s difficult to send a great first message, but these cringe-worthy first message examples will show you what not to say.
- “Hey” – I mean, how hard it is to type at least one sentence?! A simple “Hey” shows you care more about messaging tons of people than taking an interest in an individual.
- “You’re beautiful – want to hook up?” – You can guarantee most of the time the answer will be “No”.
- “I’m looking for a wonderful man/woman to love. Could it be you?” – Desperation is NOT sexy.
- “Hey, can I have your number” – Try to have an interesting conversation first.
There are so many ways to turn people off, so never underestimate the importance of a first message. Read their profile, see if something interests you and talk about it!
3. Chase ‘Em Into Submission
When someone bombards you with messages, it’s a turn off (unless you’ve got psychological issues). Just because they haven’t replied, doesn’t mean you should send them another message. Not only does it make you look desperate, but it also shows you have no life.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so don’t be so available. If they’ve not replied, put your phone away and do something. There are dozens of reasons someone might stop communicating with you. Maybe they met someone else or decided you’re not compatible. They might have things going on in their personal life or feel that it’s not the right time to meet someone. If a person is interested, they’ll be in touch. If not, then move on and find someone who is.
4. Write Like a Teenager
Did you know that intelligence is one of the biggest factors of attraction? Women gravitate towards intelligent men. Not only do they have interesting things to say, but they also understand emotions more. When you’re filling out your dating profile or writing a message, don’t underestimate the importance of grammar. If your message is full of spelling mistakes, the reader won’t take you seriously.
There’s a time for text talk, but don’t take advice from your 14-year-old niece. Use proper English when messaging someone and enjoy having a conversation. No intelligent woman above 25 wants to be called “Bae”.
5. Give Up After Two Weeks
It’s exciting when you sign up for online dating, isn’t it? After filling in the profile and choosing your most flattering photos, you can sit and wait for people to contact you. Anticipation is at its height when you log onto your profile the next day to see who wants to know you more. Then you see the empty inbox and your heart sinks. There are two things you can do; persevere or give up.
To be successful at online dating, you need to accept rejection and even embrace it. Learn from your mistakes and accept that you can’t be everybody’s type. Men often find they don’t get many responses and delete their profiles after two weeks. However, men have to compete to stand out. Women get loads of messages, and sometimes they don’t even read them. Online dating can seem hopeless but persevere and message someone who interests you. You think you can impress that stunning woman with supermodel’s legs? So does everyone else.
Ladies, we understand how frustrating online dating can be. You spot a man that looks like a great catch. After crafting out a witty message, you wait for his response but it never comes. Men will always gravitate towards beautiful women, but there are some out there who will want to get to know you! Give it time and portray yourself in the best possible way. OK, you’re not Angelina Jolie, but is he Brad Pitt?
It’s not rocket science and sometimes the beautiful woman will pick an average man, but let’s get real. If you’re online dating to meet someone, then choose wisely. Read people profiles instead of judging solely on a photo and think about the things you have in common.
Online dating doesn’t have to be difficult, and plenty of relationships are formed through sites like Match, Plenty of Fish and even Tinder. Keep your expectations in check, get a great profile and be open to rejection. The rest will come with experience and time.